The Luxury of Knowing
by Clutterbilly67
Summary: When Castiel meets Dean its love at first sight, but Castiel doesn't know Dean is a hunter. When he finds out his world is shattered and he doesn't know if he can continue being with Dean. Yaoi Dean/Castiel.
1. Chapter 1

I've been wanting to write another Castiel and Dean story. And here it is! I love these two so much XD I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural

This will be boyxboy if you don't like don't read.

Please Review! I would love to hear from you XD

* * *

I sat at my desk, not paying attention to what the teacher was saying. It was first period and my mind was still in the process of trying to wake up. She said something about a new student or something. I slid down my chair, crossing my arms over my chest, ready to take a short nap while the teacher prattled on.

"Castiel I trust that you'll be able to show Dean around the school," Ms. Platt said. I sat straight up in my chair, Ms. Platt looking at me expectantly.

"Yes, Ms. Platt," I stuttered. Man, I always have to show the new kid around. I guess it's because I'm a good student, but that doesn't mean I want to be someone's tour guide.

A body plopped in the desk in front of me. The person turned around and stuck out their hand.

"Dean Winchester." I followed the extended hand up a well muscled arm, to broad shoulders, a delicate neck, and up to the most beautiful face I've ever seen. Male or female. Lightly stubble cheeks with puffy pouty lips. A straight nose along with a strong jaw. And the greenest eyes. They reminded me of emeralds. Short spiky blond-brown hair topped off the picture of perfection that sat in front of me. As I looked closer I saw small scars that danced across tan skin. Surprisingly they didn't diminish his beauty they enhanced it, giving him more character.

A throat cleared startling me out of my own little world. I glanced up only to be held captivated by his emerald gaze. "Uh, right. Castiel." My voice came out more gravely than normal.

I shook his hand shocked to feel electric jolts from our clasped hands. Dean's eyes widened for a moment before he hastily pulled his hand away. He turned around before I could utter a word. What was that?

I studied the back of his head, finding it just as pleasing to look at as his face. My hand tingled from the brief contact we shared. I've never felt anything like that before in my life. I'm not really sure how to process it. And I'm pretty sure Dean felt whatever it is too.

The bell rang releasing us from class. Dean turned to me a bright charming smile lit up his face. "Where should I meet you?"

His words didn't penetrate my brain. I was too busy staring at his lips. "Excuse me?" I settled looking at the top of his head. "Do you want to meet in front of the cafeteria when lunch starts?"

"That sounds good. I'll see you then." Dean stood up and left while I groaned and slammed my head against my desk.

This is not good.

Somehow I got through my next three classes without much thought of Dean. But thoughts of him quickly resurfaced when my best friend Gabriel started walking with to meet Dean.

"The new guy is hot. I'd like to bang him," Gabriel said. My hand balled into fists. I didn't really understand what he meant. I didn't like it.

I took a calming breath. "What do you mean 'bang him?'"

"You've got to be kidding me. You don't know what that means?" I shook my head. "You still don't watch T.V., huh?"

"Of course not. It's a waste of my time and energy." I have better things to do like school work and reading. T.V. provides no entertainment for me.

"It means I'd like to have sex with him."

My face heated up. I don't know if it was from embarrassment or anger but I don't like the way Gabriel is talking about Dean.

"Don't say such things about him." I seethed.

Gabriel's brow lifted then he got a twinkle in his eyes. I never like that twinkle. "What?" I demanded.

"I never thought I'd see the day." Gabriel chuckled. I wish he'd share his insight. He always likes to draw things out or play games. "Castiel you really have no idea what's going on do you?" He didn't give me time to answer. "You're attracted to him."

That stopped me in my tracks. "What?"

"You like him."

"No I don't."

The more I thought about it though it did make sense. I haven't liked any one before. I wanted to ask Gabriel more questions, but we were already at the cafeteria. Gabriel clapped me on the shoulder. "You seriously need to relax. Just see where things go. You don't have to have a set schedule or know what's going to happen. I'll see you later."

Before I could stop him, he walked into the cafeteria. Dean was next to me when I turned around. My heart fluttered in my chest at the sight of him.

_So beautiful!_

My jaw clenched while I drank in the sight of him in well worn jeans and a faded black t-shirt. He was a little taller than me. His body appeared to be in excellent shape.

"Cas, you know you don't have to show me around the school. I think I can find my way around." Dean made to leave, I caught his wrist in a vice grip. _I don't want him to go. _What a surprising thought!

"No that's all right. I'll show you around." I didn't want to let go of his wrist. I dropped it when it hit me he called me Cas. "Please don't call me Cas."

Dean smiled. "Don't worry Cas. Now come on food first. I'm starving."

I gave Dean a tour of the school with nothing exciting happening except my pounding heart. I don't think it stopped for moment when I was with Dean, but thankfully the school day wound to end and it had me walking to the senior parking lot with Dean by my side. It turns out when I actually listen to him and not just stare at him we get along very well. I'm very relaxed around him. That doesn't happen with many people.

"Hey Cas this might be a weird request considering I just met you today, but can I crash at you place for a few days?"

What? My mouth went dry at the thought of being around Dean night and day. Before I could really think about it I found myself saying. "Sure."

I earned a million watt smile which made up for any doubt I might have. "Cool. Thanks."

"May I ask why?"

Dean winced. "My brother and dad are away for a few days. I don't want to stay at the motel by myself."

"You're staying in a motel?"

"Just until we get settled."

I stopped asking questions. My inquiry was making Dean uncomfortable and I could tell he was holding something back.

"My parents are currently overseas so we'll have the house to ourselves."

Dean perked up at that information. "Really?" I nodded trying to fight a grin that wanted to spread across my face. "I just need to grab my stuff from the room."

"I can take you." Dean proceeded to direct me to his motel room. I was both excited and nervous. This was all happening so fast.

* * *

Yay! Chapter 1 is done

Chapter 2 will be posted soon


	2. Chapter 2

Hey there everyone here's Chapter 2. I hope you like it XD

Yay! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. And for adding this story to favorite/alert lists. Great Happiness! Thank you again.

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural

This will be boyxboy if you don't like don't read.

Please Review! I would love to hear from you XD

* * *

When we got to the motel room I was surprised to find it littered with junk food wrappers and fast food bags. I shook my head in dismay. Dean needed a proper meal. One I'd prepare for him, but first things first. I had to clean up this mess. It was driving me insane. I began picking up various wrappers and bags while Dean packed his stuff. A breathy laugh behind me startled me so much I dropped my collection of litter. I bent down to pick up the mess again when Dean was crouching down next to me still laughing.

"Cas, you don't have to pick this stuff up, but thank you." Dean showed off his wonderful smile.

I stared at the ground. It really wasn't fair that he could smile like that and my knees went weak. It was hard to keep my position with my knees trembling. My heart skipped a few beats when I looked up to find that same smile directed at me.

We threw away everything, locked up the motel room, and headed to my house. For once I was glad my parents were gone for so long. That meant Dean could stay here for as long as he wanted. My parents were supposed to be gone for at least a month or two if not more. It normally bothered me when they were gone for that long, but now I'm ecstatic. I pulled into the driveway. I looked over at Dean who was dozing off. His head was tipped back, mouth slightly opened while he snored softly. He looked really sweet. I loved his snoring the most. It was snuffly with a little snort every so often. I placed my hand on his shoulder and marveled at the hidden strength directly under my fingers. I gently shook his shoulder; he woke with one last snort. I hid my smile behind my hand.

"We're here," I said. A bubble of excitement welled up in me. I wasn't going to be alone, at least for a few says and that thought filled me with great warmth.

Dean stretched, rubbing his eyes trying to wipe the sleep from them. He got out and grabbed his bag. I scrambled out of the car. My stomach tied in knots. This was very strange. I don't know how people deal with someone they like. Well, Gabriel told to see how everything goes. I guess I'll follow Dean's lead. I opened the front door and stood awkwardly in the entrance. I can't remember the last time someone stayed over who wasn't related to me. Dean shifted his weight from foot to foot, showing his nervousness for the first time.

I snapped out of my thoughts wanting to make Dean feel comfortable. "Come in." I ushered him into the house. I grabbed his hand, pulling him after me. "Let me show you to your room."

We walked down the hall passing the bathroom and my room. I pointed them out to Dean letting him know he had access to the whole house and whatever he needed. The guest room was right next to my room.

"Here we are," I said. Dean's hand was still clasped with mine. Normally someone would've dropped the other persons hand, right? Not that I'm complaining. It was fine with me.

The room was equipped with the essentials. The queen sized bed was placed in the middle of the room along with a desk set against the wall, the drawer on the opposite wall and a little table next to the bed with a lamp if someone wanted to read before going to bed.

Dean dropped his bag and jumped in the middle of the bed. "Sweet. Man, I haven't been in a bed this nice a long time."

Dean stretched out on the bed arms pillowing his head. He appeared to be trying to fall back to sleep, but I wanted to talk to him more. "Really?"

Dean cracked an eye open, a smile slowly forming on his lips. "Yeah, we kinda move around a lot." Dean scooted up on the bed until he was sitting against the headboard. He patted the bed. I moved away from the door and gingerly sat on the edge of the bed. I was stiff as a board. My heart thumped hard against my chest. My palms got sweaty as I stared at my shoes. Almost every time I looked at Dean my mind went blank and I kept staring.

I don't like the idea. I don't want him to move away. "Are you going to stay here long?" I wrung my hands together, stomach twirling and swirling. My lunch wasn't sitting well with me. I peeked at Dean. He was running his hands over the comforter.

"To be honest probably not." Dean caught my eyes, looking at me with a certain something, maybe longing. "Although I pray that it's different this time." Dean reached out his hand covering one of mine. My heart rate sky rocketed as Dean leaned in and kissed me. His lips were warm and soft. He gently cupped my face as he nipped my bottom lip before pulling away.

My eyes were wide as Dean kissed one more time. I touched my lips, a tingly sensation spreading from them to my entire body. "Dean?"

Dean leaned in closer. "Don't know how much time we have together. Got to make every second count," Dean whispered against my lips before kissing me again. My mind tried to latch onto Dean's last statement, but the blood flow to my brain was cut off as Dean's tongue swiped against my lips. I opened up for him, heat flowing throughout my body as his tongue touched mine, coaxing it to life he slowly began mapping out my mouth. I groaned my appreciation. Dean wrapped his arms around my neck pulling me closer until we were chest to chest. Without breaking contact he lowered my on my back and we continued kissing for I don't know how long. All I knew was I didn't want it to end. Dean pulled away from me, lips swollen red, eyes heavily lidded and looking incredible. He yawned as he pulled me closer to him, pressing our foreheads together. "Nap time," he mumbled before falling asleep. I followed soon after with a small smile tugging the corners of my lips.

I woke up with somebody wrapped around me. Where? Guest room. Who? Snuffly snoring brushed against the nape of my neck. Dean. I smiled as I snuggled closer to Dean, securing his arms around me. I glanced at the alarm clock on the table, red number blinked back 7:15. I almost leaped off the bed, but remembered I didn't have any homework. Thank goodness. My lips felt swollen and thoroughly kissed. I blushed remembering what transpired between Dean and me only a couple hours ago. It baffled my mind. I only just met him today and he was already staying in my house, kissing me and sleeping with me. My eyebrows lifted what on earth was I thinking? This is crazy! Then Dean squeezed my mid-section, chasing away all my fears and doubts. No matter what it's Dean and it felt one hundred percent right. I drifted back to sleep letting Dean's wonderful warmth surround me.

I woke up with a jerk. It was dark in the room and way colder than when I fell asleep. I got out of bed, flipped on the light to find Dean gone. Panic started to rise, twisting my stomach in a tight grip. I searched the room for a sign that Dean had really been there. I calmed down when I saw his bag. It appeared less bulky, it was still there though. I scanned the room once more to find that there was a piece of paper folded on the bed where Dean had been sleeping. I picked it up with a shaky hand.

_Hey Cas went out to take care of some stuff. Be back soon. Dean._

I slumped on the bed. He was coming back. No need to worry. I still felt a weird twinge at the thought of him being out at night. It was past ten. My stomach grumbled reminding me that I haven't eaten since lunch and I thought it was safe to assume that neither had Dean. I picked myself up and made my way to the kitchen to make something for me and Dean hoping he was still hungry when he got back. I crossed my fingers that he wouldn't be much longer because I already missed him.

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Yay! Chapter 2 is done

Chapter 3 will be posted soon


	3. Chapter 3

I have here Chapter 3 I hope you enjoy it!

Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing. And for adding this story to favorite/alert lists. Everyone is so awesome. Thank you again.

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural

This will be boyxboy if you don't like don't read.

Please Review! I would love to hear from you XD

* * *

I made some turkey sandwiches. Not exactly the big meal I wanted to make for Dean. It would have to do for now. I sat at the dining table, eating by myself. Again. I thought with Dean here I might not have to be alone for a while. Guess, I still have to be alone today. I sighed as I put down my sandwich. I wasn't feeling so hungry anymore. I put it in the refrigerator for now. I went to the living and turned on the TV. I didn't want to seem like I was waiting up for Dean, but I was. I was worried about him. I wonder what he went out to do. My eyes started drooping and the next thing I knew someone was turning off the TV. I jumped when Dean came in to view. A small smile crossing his lips. I was about to smile too, but frowned when I noticed scratches and bruises decorating his arms and face. There were probably more, but were covered up by his clothes.

I stood up, reaching out to touch his face. He winced when I touched his cut lip. "Dean what happened?" I asked, fear coiling in the pit of my stomach. It looked like Dean had been in a fight. His shirt was ripped and his jeans were shredded in some places, revealing small peeks of his muscular thighs. I gulped, trying not to focus on that. All my attention went to making sure Dean was doing alright.

"If you can believe it the other guys look worse." Dean smirked, flinching from the small cut on the side of his lip.

"Are you okay? What happened?" The other guys look worse? Maybe I don't want to know what happened. I shook my head Dean didn't owe me any explanations. I was just glad that he was okay. More or less. "You don't have to tell me what happened if you don't want to. Let's get you cleaned up and in bed."

"I like the idea of having you in my bed." Dean tried to joke, the effect was lost when he started limping to the bathroom. Whatever happened he got the tar beaten out of him.

"It won't be the first time today," I said. I wanted to help keep the mood light since Dean was trying to.

He hopped into the bathroom and sat on the toilet with a groan. I got the first aid kit from under the bathroom sink and started cleaning his wounds. None of the cuts were deep. Thank goodness. He whined when I put the anti-bacterial on the cuts and scrapes.

I swatted his leg lightly. "Don't be such a baby."

Dean glared down at me with a pout. "I'm not being a baby."

I wanted to lean up and kiss him just then. I refrained. "Yes, you are." I put a few band-aids on his arms and finished cleaning his cuts. "There, ready to go to bed?"

"Yeah." Dean stood up with a less pronounced limp. I walked him to his room. He went in and started taking off his shirt. I averted my eyes before I could see anything. I didn't want see something and not be able to keep seeing it.

"Aren't you coming to bed?" Dean asked, tossing his shirt near his bag.

I couldn't keep from looking when he asked me that question. My mouth dried up like a desert when I looked at him. Pure perfection. Dean's body was lean, lightly muscled with nothing but smooth warm tan skinned that called out to me to touch it. I had to take control of my urges. It was so hard. I stayed where I was in the door way. How can anyone be so beautiful? I was baffled. My face flamed up when I couldn't stop staring. How could I when he looked like that? I could see faint silvery scars dancing all over his chest and abdomen. I had the strangest urge to trace them with my fingers. Outline every single one because they were apart of Dean and I wanted to know everything about him down to the smallest of scars.

Dean cleared his throat snapping me out of transfixed state. I bolted from the room calling out, "I'll get you your dinner."

I rushed to the kitchen, opened up the freezer and stuck my face in it to cool off. Whoa! I took a few seconds then closed the freezer and got Dean's sandwich. I went back to his room and gave it to him, keeping my eyes on his face. I didn't dare look any lower than his neck. Dean took the plate, sat down on the edge of the bed with the plate in his lap, eating like there was no tomorrow. Dean polished off the sandwich in a few minutes while I stayed standing. I didn't know what I might do if I sat down.

"That was great Cas. Thank you for making it for me. Now come back to bed." Dean got under the covers, waiting for me to follow. I started backing out of the room Gabriel's words from earlier echoed in my head about 'banging Dean.' It was best to leave now while I still could. We were moving very fast and I definitely wasn't ready for that. Not by a long shot.

"I'm going to sleep in my room tonight." Dean frowned, but didn't force the issue.

"Okay, I'll see you in the morning. Good night Cas."

"Night Dean." I turned out the light and went to my room.

I might've been the biggest idiot in the world for turning down Dean. We probably would've just slept. I still couldn't take the chance especially with his delicious heated skin next to me. Nope, no way. I got ready for bed, laying down, trying to clear my mind of everything. Dean took it over with no problem. I hoped he'd be okay. I didn't like seeing him hurt. It hurt me too. In a weird way it was like I could feel his pain from the fight. I turned on my side willing myself to sleep. It must've worked because the next thing I knew it was morning and my alarm was blaring. I turned it off with bleary eyes trying to adjust to the morning light. I feel like I've been hit in the head. Worst night of sleep I've gotten in a long time.

I trudged to the bathroom took a quick shower and got ready for the day. I woke Dean when I was ready. He took a fast shower and was ready to go to school when I was finished pouring our cereal. We ate quietly. Both too tired to make conversation. I drove us to school and we went about our day. Gabriel caught up to me at the end of lunch when Dean was throwing out his left over food.

"So did you do it?" Gabriel plopped down next to me.

I scrunched my brow in confusion. "Do what?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Did you have sex?"

I spit out the last bit of my lunch on my tray, coughing. I took a swig of water. "What?" Red covered my face, it burned with embarrassment.

"Well did you?" Gabriel asked again. Not noticing how uncomfortable I was or was ignoring it. Probably the latter.

"No." I replied harshly. What the heck? Why is he asking me that question?

"Ah, man I was hoping someone would finally take your virginity. Looks like it will have to be me." Gabriel slung an arm around, pulling me closer to him.

Dean put an arm between Gabriel and me separating us. Gabriel scooted away from me when he saw the fierce glare at him. "Don't even joke about that." Dean grabbed my hand, pulled me up and stalked off away from the cafeteria with me following him like a lost puppy. What was that about? And how did Gabriel know Dean was with me last night?

* * *

Yay! Chapter 3 is done

Chapter 4 will be posted soon


	4. Chapter 4

I'm so sorry it took so long to update this story. Please forgive me. Here's Chapter 4 I hope you like it!

Thank you all for reading and reviewing. You guys rock!

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural

This will be boyxboy if you don't like don't read.

Please Review! I would love to hear from you XD

* * *

Dean continued to pull me along after him. I don't understand why he was so mad. Gabriel was always like that then again Dean didn't know that, but even I knew he was kidding. Most of the time. I dug my feet into the floor, slowing down Dean. He glanced over his shoulder at me, a frown marring his features.

"There's no need to be upset. Gabriel was just kidding." I tried to make Dean feel better, but I don't think it was working.

"But he said he'd take your virginity. That doesn't bother you?"

I still held onto Dean's hand, not wanting to let go anytime soon. I thought about it. It really didn't bother me at all. I knew Gabriel wouldn't make good on his promise. "Not really, but I'm used to him and his humor."

Dean scowled down at the floor. "If you're sure. I still don't like it."

I smiled. It was so cute to see Dean pouty. "Don't worry I could never think of Gabriel like that. Only you." My heart stuttered in my chest. I can't believe I just said that. I scuffed my shoe against the tile. My whole body was warm as Dean stared at me, studying me.

"You mean that? Only me?" Dean crowded me until my back hit the wall. I swallowed hard. Dean's eyes flared with need and want. It was hard to believe it was directed at me. How in the world did I elicit such a response from the most beautiful person I'd ever seen?

I nodded mutely, not able to find my voice. Dean leaned closer to me, our faces so close I could count all his eyelashes. His lips brushed mine, once, twice before making full contact. My knees buckled as his mouth slanted over mine, Dean's arm wound around my waist, pulling me closer to him. His warm, hard body molded to mine. I was so dizzy by the time Dean pulled away I was in la la land. It would have progressed further if not for Dean's cell ringing, some rock song that seemed vaguely familiar. He grinned sheepishly at me, pulling his phone from his pocket. He put the phone to his ear and went, grin falling from his face.

"Yes, sir. I'll take care of everything right now. Yeah, yeah. I'll see you guys soon." Dean glared at his phone as he hung. He breathed deeply, looking at me with a sad smile. "I have to go take care of some important errands that my dad can't get to."

"Right now? We're still in school." I didn't want Dean to go. A panicky feeling crawled it's way into my body, not releasing me from it's grip. I had a feeling that every time Dean went out to do whatever it was he did there was a chance he'd never come back. This was one of those times.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll see you soon though. I'll be back." It felt like he was trying to comfort me and himself. Dean didn't seem to know if he was coming back for sure and that worried me deeply. I remembered him coming home all beat up. I hoped the same would not happen again.

"But Dean…"

Dean kissed me one more time before waving. I couldn't get a word in. I was lost in thought until the bell rang, bringing me back to the present and going to class. Gabriel caught up to me before class started, stopping me in the hall.

"Where's your boyfriend?"

I colored at the term. It's not like I didn't want it to be true though. "He left."

"To where?" Gabriel chewed on gum, smacking and blowing a bubble.

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"Ah, Castiel don't worry I'm sure he'll be back. We still on for studying? I think this math assignment is going to kill me." Gabriel was trying to distract me. We didn't have any plans to get together. I latched on to it. I didn't want to wait for Dean alone and it'd be fun to hang out with Gabriel even if it was doing homework. Gabriel always made everything enjoyable. Most of the time. I wonder what Dean would think if he knew Gabriel and I would be hanging out. Not that I wanted him to be jealous, it felt nice to wanted in such a way by Dean. I can't lie about that and if I can somehow get him to look at me like he wanted to devour me again I'd have no objections.

"That sounds good. You can come over around four."

Gabriel slapped my back as he headed to class. I stumbled from the impact of his hand. I rubbed my sore shoulder. I went to class and sat down, waiting for the day to end. I hoped Dean would be okay and that he'd be home soon.

Class went at a snails pace, it eventually ended freeing me from the confines of school. I went to my locker, got all the books I needed for the nights homework then went to the parking and drove home. I kept my fingers crossed for Dean to be there. No such luck. I sighed as I opened the front door. I straightened up the house and went about doing some other homework before Gabriel came. I finished up the last of my homework when the door bell rang. I got up from my seat at the dining table, answered the door to a smiling Gabriel.

"How about you and me go catch a movie?" Gabriel said, a sly grin over taking his lips.

My brow furrowed, Gabriel was always one to wait to the last minute to do something, but he always he did it. "Now? I thought he needed help with your math."

"I do, but I thought this would be more fun. Now let's go." Gabriel tugged on my arm. I pulled it away, gave him an exhausted look, but relented. Not like I had anything better to do at the moment. My homework was all done and Dean was gone for who knew how long.

"Let me grab my wallet and keys." I grabbed everything I needed and met Gabriel at the front door, right where I left him.

Gabriel grinned as I locked the door. A smile tugged at my lips. My only hope was that Dean would be here when I got back, for now I enjoy some quality time with my best friend.


End file.
